Tuesday, May 15, 2007

The Great Gas Out of '07

History will be made this day, ladies and gentlemen, May 15, 2007.

That's right, folks, the Austin, Tx. paper indicated that gas prices could go as high as $4. per gallon later this year. In protest of this anticipated and unacceptable hike in gas prices we're (you and I) being asked to participate in what history may well record as "The Great Gas Out of 'O7."

Read on...


According to...someone's calculations 2.292 billion dollars is almost 3 billion dollars. First, 2.292 billion is closer to 2 billion than it is to 3 billion. But for the sake of clarity, and the mathematical practice of rounding up, let's just say that 2.292 billion is almost 2.3 billion, not 3 billion. And for simplicity's sake, let's use the 2.3 billion dollar figure from here on out, shall we? Okay, now that we've cleared that up let's try and define what this figure represents...

As I understand it there are approximately 73,000,000 Americans (American members?) currently on the internet (network?) -that's 73 million, and it's closer to 70 than it is to 200 million, btw. Seeing as how the average car requires about 30 to 50 dollars to fill up (I'm a little unclear here as to whether these average cars are generally on empty, or, whether they have some "average" amount of gas in 'em when folks fill them up? I'm also a bit unclear about the other relevant factors involved in calculating these particular numbers, but anyway...), if all users were to not go to the pump on May 15th (that's today) it is suggested that the aforementioned 2.3 billion dollars would be removed from the oil companies pockets for just one day. This suggestion is followed by an appeal to: "please do not go to the gas station on May 15th." Okay, are we clear about the 2.3 billion dollar figure? Good.

Now, besides the fact that the "oil companies" are not the only entities involved in the sale and distribution of gasoline, I get the feeling that the person/persons who worked up these numbers think that the 2.3 billion dollars is all profit...to the pockets of the oil companies? But seriously folks: "when demand exceeds supply, prices go high; when supply and demand meet, prices are sweet." I thought of that all by my little self. Nonetheless, my version of the email message (I did mention that this was a request via email didn't I?) is concluded with these words:

"If you agree (which I can't see why you wouldn't) resend this to all of your contact list. With it saying, ''Don't pump gas on May 15th."

Well, I don't agree. And I've alluded to a couple of my reasons why. I thought it'd be an interesting exercise (and we might even learn something) for us to engage this topic. If you agree (and I can't see why you wouldn't) post a comment.



Call Me Mom said...

Mr. Webster, you have made my very busy day.

I too have received this and similar e-mails. The idea that if we all don't buy any gas for one day, then the supply will magically exceed demand and the prices will fall (for at least the day after that when we all have to fill our tanks again to get to work-right?)thus saving us from paying these greedy gas and oil companies more money than they really "deserve" is short sighted at best. Companies are in business to make a profit. That doesn't make them greedy, that makes them businesses(as opposed to say- charities)
All the eco-nuts out there ought to be thrilled that the oil companies are encouraging Americans to conserve energy and stop polluting by their insistence on driving everywhere and yet, I haven't heard a peep out of them. lol, lol, rotfl.

Call Me Mom said...

I was referred to this article by another blog: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18615572/
I thought you might enjoy it.

Samuel Adams said...

Imagine my disappointment when the DFN called me, worried about how she would be able to make it home from work without filling up tonight. (Does anyone have a rusty spoon by which I might gouge out my eyes and scoop portions of my wretched entrails?) Compounding my misery, I was foolish enough to call the practice stupid without at first clearly differentiating between it and her. Where's the nearest jeweler?


The Monarchist said...

Whoa. I take a day off and look at what happens. The blog blows up in comments. Nice.


P.S. DW, I couldn't have said it better m'self.

The Monarchist said...

Oh, Samuel! The nearest jeweler is the one located closest to you.

Good man, tell an ignoramus: what is DFN?


The Monarchist said...

You know, I just had a thought. Why can't we get a mass e-mail to circle the known universe like this and other drivel that comes through my inbox so often? You know, about something pertinent?


Call Me Mom said...

Mr. Adams,
If I may make a suggestion, jewelry is for occasions you want the DFN (which I am assuming is your wife) to remember. Dinner out or another thoughtful way to reduce her work load, these are for apologies.

(Flowers are for anytime you think of it.)

Daniel Webster said...

Tell ya what, AH, if you can think of something pertinent to share in a mass mailing I'll dang sure do as they say and send it out to all my contacts...with this message attached:

"If you don't send this to all your contacts within 48 hrs. something very bad will happen to you!"


Mom, that sounds like good advice (for all us males of the opposite sex) to me. And I'm glad you got a kick out of...my fun. I do need to say this though: some of the credit goes to Mr. Adams who brought to the attention of my one-track mind the fact that 2.292 billion dollars was being touted as "almost 3 billion dollars."

BTW, I had an opportunity to use my own coinage today (hope I ain't jumpin' the gun laying claim to it), and I'll be dang if the fella didn't turn 180 degrees and agree with the saying.

Samuel Adams said...

Excellent idea, Mom. Burgers at Hardees it is. Killing two birds with one stone, she won't have to cook!

The Monarchist said...

I'm almost 35 years old and this is the first I've ever heard that explained. Thanks, Mom! ;)

DW, man, that cracked me up! "Send this to 20 people you know in the next 24 hours and you'll get a $50 check from Bill Gates, or something."


Call Me Mom said...

Gentlemen thanks for the nice comments.

It seems like only common sense to me, but now that I have found that I am older than Mr. Hamilton, it must just be greater age and experience talking-lol. I'm glad to help.

Good Luck Mr. Adams, I'm sure she'll appreciate it.

Daniel Webster said...

So, has anyone heard the results of the gas out? Wait! Don't tell me:

CNN is reporting that countless billions of internet users participated wrenching gazillions from the pockets of the greedy oil companies. Earth's eco system (and Algore) is/are now in a state of harmonious balance - greenhouse gasses were reduced by thirty percent overnight, and our fragile planet's average temperature fell by two full degrees...on the fahrenheit scale that is. The greedy auto makers are now admitting that they've had the technology to build an engine that'll get 200 gallons per mile, er, mpg (sorry 'bout that) for centuries, but big oil pressured 'em to halt production. Production starts tomorrow, however. And gas prices (more importantly profits for oil companies), in the mean time, are projected to hit all-time lows?

And there we were making a big joke out of it. Shame on us! I imagine a steak dinner and the finest wine at the most expensive resaurant in town is more in order, Samuel. Wait! Make that a $48. garden salad don't ya know.

And I apologize for filling my tank up (as well as encouraging others to do so) on the 15th...in protest of the protest. fershame!

Call Me Mom said...

No, no, no Mr. Webster, they're still practically newlyweds and this is a relatively small challenge, burgers is fine.

The best restaurant in town is for when he insults her mother. lol

And I heard it was 300 mpg.;)

Daniel Webster said...

Well, it appears that age ain't got much to do with it then.

I always thought that when you called your wife stupid, or you failed to make the distinction between a stupid practice and her, that was a fairly...ginormous mistake. Huge mistakes call for relatively large compensatory measures, no? Or perhaps my wife takes that kind of mistake a little more seriously than most? Even after 21 years of marriage I'm afraid that if I made that kind of fundamental error (let my mouth overload my hindparts) I'd have to find my own rusty spoon with which to...dig myself a hole in which to crawl -I'd prefer to leave my eyes and my wretched entrails right where they are.

And speaking of compensation, what is the husband due when the MIL insults him, huh, huh??? ;)

Call Me Mom said...

Mr. Webster,
I know that (most)women will make a big deal out of it, but that's just to reassure themselves that you still value them and that you can communicate.

If you want to make a large recompense, my best advice is still: do something that lightens her workload. Take over her chores for a day (or a week depending on what you said)or send her out for a day at your local spa. You don't want her to be able to look at a box full of jewelry that outlines the number of times her husband has insulted her or her judgment, because on a bad day that can become a stumbling block for her all by itself. That's just not a good idea.

As to what does the insulted husband get to make amends? After a bit more than 18 years of marriage, I know what my husband prefers as reassurance that I still find him to be the husband I value and prefer over all others. I'm sure your wife does too and Mr. Adams' wife will figure it out.

In the end, I think that's what it boils down to: reassurance that you still highly value each other.

Daniel Webster said...

Ah, I'm just aggravating ol' Samuel there, Mom. Lord knows I've made my share of similar mistakes over the years. And come to think of it, I don't even think my wife owns a jewelry box. She seems to be satisfied with her wedding and engagement rings, and a couple of necklaces which she wears on special occasions.

I did take her out recently and treat her to something of a new look, however. Not for any recompense, mind you, but just to show her that I do love and appreciate her more than ever.

And just to solidify that this is indeed the case, I did it in the face of rising gas prices...and undoubted record profits for the greedy oil companies. But anyway...;)